In an effort to allow the readers to get to know me, and to promote "world peace" I'm writing a bit about my average day. I hope you enjoy it, as you take a stroll with me. I'm an "empty nester," trying to find the good in it. When I was teaching foster parents about integrating the foster child into their family, we'd have discussions about the importance of staying in touch with your own life, loves, goals and dreams. Seeking balance during crisis is a huge challenge.
Kids in anger, kids in crisis, and kids of your own can blow your original plan for yourself into little pieces. You live in a time warp. You stand still, they take over. Yikes!
A great deal of time was spent diffusing their anger and helping them cope. One day, I woke up and saw that time had passed, my own kids were graduating, we were tired, it's all over. No more kids, no more chaos.
Great. NOW WHAT DO I DO? I'm in my own personal crisis and the silence roars.
Well, I write. I have begun to look back and spend some time analyzing, reflecting on all those years of caring for troubled kids and their families. It took a toll on me, and even my kids. There's always a price for helping. At times, it was worth it; other times, I think the sacrifice was too great. We often had to put our own kids needs to the side. They learned to wait, we learned to separate the foster children's needs from our own children's needs. We learned to fulfill them both.
I want to tell the story. Where do I begin? I'm still locked into the 9-5 routine, so I find my time to write in the late evening...in the dark, with only the computer monitor light to guide my fingers as I type. The dog is at my feet, after he put the hubby to bed; my cat is on the couch, listening to the click of the keyboard. She's sensitive to sound and occasionally breaks my typing rhythm with a protesting murmur. After I reassure her she can take it, she goes back into her stupor stare that is common to cats.
My day begins around 5:30 am as I stir from more nights of insomnia than I like to count. I've never been a sound sleeper, until the 5th or 6th night of sleeping 3 - 4 hours, suddenly I can do 6. I love sleep, it just doesn't like me and takes it's good sweet time landing. Still, years ago I made friends with my mind, and let the good thoughts roll. Sleep comes lightly.
At 6:30, we call our middle son, as he has to be at work at 7, but sleeps 'til 6:30 and makes mad dashes for 20 minutes until he stands in front of the time clock. Thankfully, he only lives 5 minutes from work. He's a heavy sleeper, so I give him that extra bit of help to get up, though he tells me he doesn't need it.
It's a Mom thing, but Lynn calls him most of the mornings. We're both liking the call. After stumbling around and stepping over the dog toys scattered on the floor, I get something cold to drink, normally an herbal tea that I keep in the fridge, unsweetened. Lynn begins breakfast, which can be a variety of things: fruit, bagels, cream cheese, cereal (for him, not me, I don't like milk) or the whole plate of eggs, bacon and grits.
All of that depends on the mood of both of us; and our energy. I love variety both in food and schedules. Far be it from me, to become too predictable.
Thus, Lynn always asks, "What are you wanting for breakfast?" We've switched roles to a degree. When we had a full house, we both cooked pieces of each meal. Now, I give him the nod and he readily cooks most meals. It's ok, I'm not territorial. I share.
While he puts the meal together, I give murmurs of advice like "Is that the bacon I smell burning, dear?" or "Cream cheese spreads better at room temperature..." He's patient and tolerates me, though I hear him muttering something under his breath. Probably just clearing his throat. I do a 5 minute house cleaning pick up while listening to CNN and the local channel alternately. I check email, hubs, and my website, all around 7:00a.m.
My cat demands to be held, the dog competes for time, and Lynn cooks. It's a hard life, but I do my best to endure.
Once I've eaten the choice for the day, I claim the tiny bathroom in our apartment for quick dressing. Then, when I've become dazzling enough for public viewing, I tidy up the house a bit more and Lynn and I discuss some of the things we'll need to do at work.
Since retiring from foster care, police work, teaching/social work, we continue to work together, managing a storage facility. We get along pretty well, he knows who's boss and I let him be boss often enough to keep the peace.
We also live above the office in a dollhouse sized apartment which is all the space I need now. You can plug the vacuum in the living room and do the carpet of 2 bedrooms and the kitchen without unplugging. Or, Lynn can. Another chore I've shared.
Downstairs, we have a computer room, a foyer and a laundry room and storage. The cat rules this space at night and we've put a gate up so she's more confined than she wants.
Once we've planned the day, discussed the sales marketing project at hand, site chores, and anything personal, we begin our office work at 8:30ish, with official opening the doors at 9:00. Our best friend, Buddy, (shhshshs - he doesn't know he's a dog and I'm not tellin' him) rides the golf cart with Lynn as he makes the rounds on the property. During this time, I normally stand and watch them ride. Buddy is at straight attention, serious as a heart attack as he guards his little world. This is a big highlight of my day. I take time to enjoy the birds and the moos of the cows across the street (a small pasture that reminds me of Oklahoma, where my heart is and we will return soon.), and the squeaking, creaking of the security gate as it opens with people coming in and out of the site.
My thoughts turn to my kids across Tampa Bay, and I hope they've made it to work and are safe as they learn to live on their own.
My day in the office sometimes begins with an explosion of phone calls, people inquiring, people paying, or inspections from the management company. You'd think this was the Pentagon for all the reports we do.
Lately, I've been asked to go to a few sites nearby to help out with either their sales work, or their office if they are short-handed. That adds to my work load, but can be interesting.
Some days, the morning slowly turns into afternoon, other days, you can't believe the clock says time to go home. Home, being one flight up.
During the day, one of us runs (ok limps) upstairs and puts something in the Crockpot for dinner. Lynn has learned to make a mean meatloaf, pork roast, mashed potatoes, and various other side dishes. Sometimes, he surprises me with a chocolate cake and I've gotten pretty good at sneaking frosting from the top when he's not looking.
Mealtime is a little too quiet but I'm learning to like it. While we didn't feed all 250 foster kids at the dinner table at once, we're not used to cooking for 2. I loved seeing my kids wolf down food as they gave me hugs over something that pleased their tastebuds. And, they ate everything that didn't wiggle, although a few of their steaks could have. I like my meat pink, definitely not in motion on the plate, and my veggies steamed.
After 5:30p.m., we make sure the site is secure for the night, and go up to take part in another quiet night of dinner, short conversation, clean up, TV, reading, and for me - writing. As I write, I half-listen to the news and we spend some time discussing the ever more boring campaign rhetoric.
Lynn dozes, I write more, the dog snores. I often sneak into the kitchen, completely ignoring the call of the chocolate cake, and eat something really healthy like blueberries. uh-huh.
After my snack, I'm back at the computer, answering comments, building new blog websites - a new project for me; soon I will be famous. China will re-build their empire, Google will bow. In the meantime, I'll settle for just being noticed, so if you've not made a comment lately on my hubs, please read and do. The one on "America We're Not Spoiled" lacks 3 more page views to get to 600. Now can you believe that?? I told you Google will bow. LOL Please, I'm joking. My ego is not that big, stop it.
The snoring of the dog usually awakens Lynn and they decide to go to bed, and I turn out the lights and continue to clack away at the keyboard. I can hear the two children in the bedroom playing fetch 'em as the toys hit the walls and the back of the door and hopefully not the bedside lamp.
Well, as long as the hubby and the dog are happy, who cares? Soon, all is quiet and Buddy comes out into the living room and helps me solve world problems. The cat is not impressed and falls into a hypnotic snooze.
I read Hubs, comment, and type until I'm tired, and then settle in for some mind numbing TV, nothing stressful. I enjoy re-runs of Deadliest Catch, The History Channel, Discover, HGTV, and House Hunters if I'm really bored, and always food network.
When sleepiness hits me, I take the cat down to her ground level condo, and I'm in bed by midnight - my curfew, thinking pleasant thoughts until insomnia is conquered. Ok, sometimes the thoughts are not pleasant and I'm at war. Once in a while, no sleep is the victor and then Lynn gives me a few hours off the next day if possible so I can re-group. I fight that for a few days and enjoy the 6 hours of sleep exhaustion gives.
I am easy to please, seldom grumpy, always sarcastic (in a nice way) and love to take drives (less so now), love to meet new people, one at a time, can party for short periods of time, ( 30 minutes?) and enjoy garage sales on Saturdays until the heat hits.
Our dream is to return to Oklahoma, garden, write my books, (how optimistic is the plural of THAT word??) and live off the land. In a house not a tent preferrably, so that date is not yet set.
And, that's me...on an average day, living the American Dream. Now, which President is going to continue to make that possible? It remains a mystery.
Thanks for reading, and please leave a comment, and turn out the lights as you leave, with the oil crisis, we're conserving energy.
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Contributor's Note
Americans are fortunate in many ways. Most of us live healthy safe and peaceful lives. I take it for granted I'm sure, but today I wanted to show gratitude and tell the world about my average day. What's yours?
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